The Correct Way to Eat Tofu and Excess Jowl-age: Wednesday 23rd February

Today we learnt that, as a child, one of our classmates was taught how to eat Taiwanese Tofu by his parents. The poor lad took something approaching an epoch to construct this sentence, only to be put in his place by his compatriots, who informed us that such tuition was certainly not de rigueur. His recollection thus brought back painful memories of the time when I first ate Edmame beans, without first removing them from the pod. The faces of the onlookers still haunt me to this day.

Even as a method actor, I thought that the plastic surgery mark ups were probably a step too far.

At tonight’s dress rehearsal for ‘Picasso’ I was given a perm, a cleft chin, and enough excess jowl-age to make Winston Churchill feel envious. I struggled not to squirm as I had a copious amount of eyeliner applied to what felt like my retina, but overall the whole evening left me feeling reasonably confident about opening tonight, which is tomorrow!

 

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About truehamlet

Sam is a senior lecturer in Science Communication, who researches the different ways in which media such as poetry and film can be used to communicate science to new audiences.
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