Debt-Inducing Melons and Easy Version Okay: Saturday 2nd July

At around lunchtime today, as I was sat in my personal boiling chamber trying to get on with some work, there came a knock at my door. Hoping against all hope that it was the repairman arriving three days early, and pretty certain that the Jehovah Witnesses wouldn’t call on a Saturday, I threw some clothes on and answered the door.  As I did so I was met by the charming features of a young girl who was selling a variety of fruit and fruit-based products on a door-to-door basis, and who tried her very best to ignore the fact that I was stood there slowly melting in just a pair of boxers and a vest top. So valiant were her efforts in fact, that I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I would rather pluck out my eyes than pay ¥6500 (around £50) for 6 melons, even if they were ‘the sweetest melons in all of Japan’. Instead I constructed an elaborate ruse that I was leaving Tokyo for a couple of weeks on a trip, and would be turning off the fridge to save on electricity. I now expect one of two things to happen: either someone attempts to rob my flat over the next two weeks, assuming it to be empty; or I get a knock on the door in a fortnight’s time, and am informed that there is a lorry load of melons waiting for me out front. As I don’t have the required GDP of a small European country to pay for said amount of melons, and because any prospective robbers would collapse upon entry of my premises, I’m hoping for the former.

Bonsai-esque gardening in my local park.

In today’s Yoga lesson I finally translated the two words that the Sensei keeps repeating as: inhale and exhale. This certainly made life a good deal easier, although sadly the third most used word is still Sam-san, which is inevitably followed by ‘easy version is okay’. I like to think that I am gradually getting suppler, but the fact that I needed help in sitting crossed-legged with a straight back, whilst everyone else lifted himself or herself off the floor in the lotus position, was a sure sign that there is still a good way to go. At least by the end of the session I was left feeling euphoric, although this probably had less to do with enlightenment, and more to do with the fact that we are advised not to eat for 4 hours before the start of the lesson.

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About truehamlet

Sam is a senior lecturer in Science Communication, who researches the different ways in which media such as poetry and film can be used to communicate science to new audiences.
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