Confessions of a Killer and Dodgy Lecky: Thursday 4th August

Today in school we managed to get to almost the end of the third lesson before death reared his hooded head. We were discussing some grammar point or another, at which point our Sensei thought that it was an opportune time to tell us how he was responsible for the death of his pet turtle, as when he was a child he forgot to feed it for over a month. I am genuinely worried that, spurred on by the examples in our textbook, our classroom is turning into a self-help group, or worse a confessional booth for heinous past crimes. At any rate there seems to be no escape the constant reminder of our own mortality!

This has all the markings of a conspiracy.

I am now convinced that my utility bills are simply plucked out of thin air, written down on a piece of paper, and then sent to me in the post. How else to explain the fact that my electricity bill is exactly the same this month (¥2304, i.e. about £17.50) as it has been for every other month that I have been living here, even though my air-conditioning unit has been running practically non-stop since it was installed. The fact that I have been having cold showers for the past month, but that my gas bill has also stayed roughly the same leads me to a similar conclusion; namely that someone is fiddling the accounts. I should probably make the most of this and just leave my appliances running non-stop night and day, or failing that I could perhaps sub-let the use of my electricity to people whose services are not run by a corrupt local government.


About truehamlet

Sam is a senior lecturer in Science Communication, who researches the different ways in which media such as poetry and film can be used to communicate science to new audiences.
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2 Responses to Confessions of a Killer and Dodgy Lecky: Thursday 4th August

  1. Rabbit says:

    Can’t explain gas (leak? or the fact that our bills are usually 8 weeks behind the issue date?). Electricity is the same because the price per kW/h continues to rise due to Fukushima.

    • truehamlet says:

      Let’s hope that it’s not a bloody leak! That is the last thing that I want, well apart from permanent entrapment in Shinjuku.

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