After yesterday’s relative successes with the Devil’s Tongue, today fund me back to my usual malapropism-spewing self. Having somehow confused the words for ‘sun’ and ‘coal’, my classmates were surprised to find out that 60% of UK industry is solar powered, and I didn’t have the heart, or more importantly the Japanese, to rectify my mistake. Everyone seemed rather less impressed when I told my teacher that she looked very full, I had meant to say that she looked a little distressed, and if she hadn’t been before then she most certainly was now.
My ability to forget things almost before I have begun learning them never ceases to amaze me, but it is by no means limited to the classroom, as I am convinced that my synapses stopped firing on all cylinders sometime in the late 90’s. Walking into a room and immediately forgetting why you have done so is a common enough ailment, but not when you only have two rooms in your house! One of the most distressing elements of my affliction is that everyday I forget that the dog I pass in one of the shops on my way to the station is not real. This in itself wouldn’t be too bad, but it is always accompanied by a mini pedestrian-jam as I stop in the middle of the crowded street to see if the dog is okay. I’m half tempted to put up a sign on the lamppost to remind me of the dog’s inertness, but I know that I’d just end up wondering who had written such a bizarre note.