We got our marks back for the JLPT exam today, and rather unsurprisingly I had failed spectacularly, failing to register over 50% in any of the three sections (reading, listening, and language knowledge). I had been expecting to fail, so whilst slightly disappointed wasn’t massively disheartened, and was definitely ‘cheered up’ by my neighbour’s comment of: ‘But I don’t understand how did I pass and you didn’t, you work so much harder than me.’ The only response that I could come up with was: ‘because my Japanese is terrible’, although ‘awful’, ’embarrassing’ and ‘an affront to the people of all nations’ would all have equally sufficed.
Whilst the exam result was an expected failure, it does slightly irk me that my Japanese is not better than it is, and my position as bottom of the class is becoming a little weary. I am pretty certain that I do more private study than anyone else, and yet my Japanese is by far and away the worst. And as someone who has always found hard work to be a substitute for their lack of intelligence I find the current sate of affairs a little disheartening. However, I refuse to be beaten: I will master this damn language, even if it means melting down vocab lists and injecting them into my eyeballs. Obviously I would prefer a more conventional learning method, but if that’s what it takes then that is what it takes.